trust fall

      Remember when you were a scout or in youth group or what ever and you did the trust fall? You stand on a table, close your eyes and fall into the waiting arms of your team. You can't see. You can't see that they will catch you. You hope and you believe, but you can't be sure until you fall. This week we fell.

      Johnny fell quite literally. Off of a piece of playground equipment that he has jumped off a million times. Onto a safe, padded surface. The result was this.

     I was a little ways away, looking in the wrong direction when I heard him crying. I turned to see him running towards me and knew from 20 feet away that it was quite broken. Little arms are not supposed to be that shape. I was standing there with a group of parents from his preschool class, my friends. They all took a breath and then moved. One dad ran to his car to get a towel to immobilize him, another mom made a phone call to the neighbor whose child I had also brought to the park to let her know I wouldn't be able to bring her child home and a third mom helped us to the car and insisted on driving my car to the hospital so that I could make the necessary calls in route and sit in the back to hold his hand. I'm relatively sure that we were in the car and on our way within 2 minutes.
     We went to nearest ER.  My friend parked the car and waited in the waiting room to help Ty find us when he arrived. She then drove Ty's truck home so we wouldn't have to worry about it. She did this all with minimum fuss. The doctor and the nurses at our local ER could not have been more gentle and sweet with my little guy. They got him pain meds almost as soon as we were in a room. They talked to him and reassured us. They found a portable X-ray  machine so that he wouldn't have to be moved anymore than necessary. They took one look at the x-ray and informed us that we needed to head over to the children's hospital, by ambulance. Johnny was thrilled (by now the meds were kicking in) and the ambulance crew was delightful. The nurse sat in the back with him and downloaded his favorite songs to her phone on the fly. She laughed at his jokes and was generally delightful. The paramedic driving took the easiest route to avoid bumps and jostles, even though it took a little longer. He even flashed the lights, just for Johnny.
     The staff at the children's hospital was just as lovely. They had all sorts of little tricks to distract him from the pain and to keep him comfy. It was a very long evening. They went back and forth about surgery or reduction and all the concerns with both but all the while made sure that Johnny was cared for.
     Johnny showed us his true mettle that day. I always joke about the fact that he is undaunted by any challenge. Once again, he was his cheerful little self. He had stopped crying by the time we started the car to leave, granted I think he was in a little bit of shock. Once we got to the hospital and got a little pain medicine in him, he perked right up. Even though he must've still been dealing with quite a bit of discomfort, he did not complain once. He wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything all day long because they were considering surgery and he was perfectly pleasant about it. He told his knock, knock jokes to the nurses and was polite and patient for hours and hours. I am so very proud of him.
     They finally decided on reduction under sedation. Depending on how the the bones set in the next few days, surgery is still an option but possibly avoidable. Once he was sedated I had to step out. I couldn't watch. They casted the arm in a cut- cast up to his shoulder and after another hour of waiting for him to recover from sedation, we finally were able to head home. He had broken his arm at 1:00 PM, it was now 11:45 PM.
     For those of you who are unaware, he also had a sinus surgery last Thursday during which stints were placed into his sinus cavities. He had a second surgery to remove them scheduled for Friday morning. The doctors decided to go ahead with the surgery due to the risk of complications and infection if they were left in longer than necessary. At 8:00 AM the next morning, he and I were at the surgery center to get that taken care of. All went well and we gratefully headed home, ready for a well-deserved rest.
    

    So that's the story, but here's the lesson. All through that day I received texts, and messages and phone calls of support.  I haven't had to cook all weekend because of friends who keep bringing dinner. People have brought little treats for Johnny. They have filled in at my church job without complaint since we won't be there this weekend. They have helped me get my other son to and from where he needed to be. They caught us when we fell.  I know that this will all be fine, even now I am spending much of my time pulling Johnny off of things that he has climbed one- handed. In the long run it will be a terrible inconvenience and not much more, but in the moment it was overwhelming and to feel like I wasn't in it alone, that I had a team, a village who loved my child and supported our family was invaluable. I cannot thank you all enough. Thank you for catching us. Thank you for being my village.

off he goes

when the circles are extra dark- thankful

Last year my sister-in-law Di turned me on to this magic eye concealer stuff. She needed it then because she had newborn twins and a 3-year-old. Normally I need it because I stay up late and get up early and I have pale, pale skin. I need it now because Johnny hit me in the eye with the shower door last night and left me with quite the shiner. Thanks to this stuff you can't even tell that my children are trying to kill me.

little monsters- thankful

Trick-or-treating, because there are not many things as fun as dressing up in a costume and getting free candy. Except perhaps watching my little ones do it.

Johnny is 4

he lives in one, under the sea

Last night at dinner Johnny informed me that he collected rocks... and pineapples. His treasure chest is full of rocks so I found the first unsurprising. I anticipate the second causing a storage conundrum. Should I build shelves? How do long do pineapples last on the shelf? How many does he need to fill this deep-seated desire to collect pineapples? What will we do in the off- season? Do they have to be organic? This is what comes of shielding my children from the temptation of pokemon cards. I take full responsibility.

my little enforcer, and his brother, the ambassador

So, some of you have already heard this story. Actually, most of you. Too bad. It's funny, so I'm writing about it anyway.

A few weeks ago we headed over to the salon for the boys' monthly haircuts. Kyle has been cutting their ( and our) hair since we have lived here. He is not a new person in their lives. Having their haircut is not a new experience. Neither one of them made it past their first birthday before monthly haircuts were required just to keep them from looking like no one loved them. Tommy went first, as always. He spent his time in the chair chatting to Kyle about how important it is to be responsible and that being a kind, thoughtful older brother is super important. I kid you not. When it was Johnny's turn, he climbed up into the chair and gave Kyle a dazzling grin. He then informed him," If you cut my toes off, I will give you a knuckle sandwich." The haircut proceeded as usual.

good germs, bads germs- thankful

Over the course of the last five weeks this kid

has spent four of them on antibiotics. He has serious problems with his sinuses. He had surgery last spring to help, and it did, for like four months. Now we are back where we started. He has been trouble from the beginning. Colic for four long months. Acid reflux with a bonus of projectile vomiting until he was 2 and a half. He is currently on his second set of ear tubes and will probably need at least one more set soon. Nasty infections followed by doctor visits and rounds of antibiotics. But eventually they help. The infections don't spread to other parts of his little body. My doctors aren't forced to watch helplessly as he gets sicker. They can do something. Lots of somethings. We have health insurance that pays for most of it. And so instead of being a tragedy or even just a terrible hardship, it is mostly an inconvenience. I'll take inconvenience any day. In the meantime, I am considering in investing his entire college fund in Kleenex stock.

guess what he got for his birthday...

Q. Johnny, How old are you?
A. Six!
Nope, Three. Answers regularly range from 6 to 37.

Q. What's your favorite things to do?
A. Umm, Drums!
He's now been playing the set he got for his birthday for a whole hour. In the kitchen. With lots of extra great echoing.

Q. What's your favorite food?
A. Hot dogs, corn dogs!
And cake, choosing a cake was VERY exciting this afternoon.

Q. Who is your favorite friend?
A. The Drums!
Tommy prompting from the other room, "Me, he loves me the most!" Johnny commences to sing "Happy Birthday" to himself while drumming loudly, oh, so loudly. I declare the official birthday interview concluded.



It's super hard to conduct an interview while the subjects plays his new, real (although small) drum set in his most enthusiastic manner.

Happy birthday, my darling, darling boy.

just the beginning

This evening this child, when told he must finish his dinner if he wanted to have ice cream, waited until his brother who was finished wasn't looking and pulled the old plate switcheroo. He then gazed at me with those sky blue eyes wide and informed me that he was ready for his dessert.

He is not yet yet three years old. Sigh.

on underpants and broken hearts

So. The pull-ups have run out. I have not purchased anymore. This means I am doing lots and lots of laundry. Some of it super disgusting. Sigh. I am doing all the tricks, candy, running, praising, scolding, standing on my head, you get the idea. We might have had a breakthrough in the last few days. He starting to urinate most of the time when I put him on the potty. He still does it in his underpants in between as well, but less often. That's good, right? It came at kind of a high cost. He comes out of the bathroom having pottied successfully and says hopefully,"Good boy? Me, is a good boy?" His big blues eyes begging, literally begging for my approval, the jelly bean is just a bonus. Apparently all the negative feedback has been a little rough on him. Why yes, that loud cracking sound you hear is my heart shattering into a thousand pieces. He has taken to hiding soiled or wet underpants in lots of helpful places and today he hid his whole self after an accident he couldn't hide. Am worst. mother. ever. I don't think I've been all that over the top with the accident talk. We talk about how it is gross and yucky and big boys go in the potty but my little free spirit is feeling a little bruised. And it's all my fault. Dear universe, please make this over soon, please, please, please? For now, I am taking him to the zoo, it's his favorite place. I will pack lots of underpants. And buy him a snow cone.

*Mom- I love you, but you are not allowed to comment on this post due to your completely unrealistic view of the subject matter.  Kisses.

committed

Want to know something I am not good at? Potty training. I despise it with every part of my being. I thought I was O.K. at it because Tommy wasn't all that difficult to train. He is a pleaser, so when he figured out that doing his business in the potty made everyone happy with him, he was thrilled to comply. I took credit for this attitude. Johnny is not a pleaser. He is happy to go in the potty-if I put him on it every 45 minutes or so. I am pretty sure that if I was really consistent about this for a week or so that it would click and he would be trained. But. That requires lots and lots of 100% consistency on my part and it 's just not really happening. Turns out, I am totally lazy. So. I ask your your aid. This is my very last package of pull-ups. I will be consistent because when they run out, we are moving on to underpants and if I haven't been consistent, that will be super unpleasant. If you see me at Target contemplating the pull-up options, please slap my hand and remind me of this post. We are on a deadline, people. Preschool starts in 8 weeks. Watch this space for updates.

blankie party at our house

This morning I returned from the gym to find my chicks in the kitchen, blankies in tow. Tommy informed me that they were having a blankie party and requested I take photos. So I did. Then I went off to shower, the party still in full swing. It was a lovely way to start a day.

on his own

Johnny got his own breakfast today-way to go, buddy.

all in the family

This morning I dropped Tommy off at a friend's house. At 6:30 in the morning.

Yesterday Johnny saw his ENT again. He has almost constant sinus infections despite his lack of adenoids and a rotating cast of antibiotics. Most of the options at this point are pretty invasive and so rather than proceed with the next surgery on the list, the doctor ordered a CT scan. I've had a few of these in my day, perhaps you have too. Not such a big deal, just hold very still for five minutes. Now do you begin to see the dilemma? Johnny is never, ever still for five minutes while conscious, ever. So they sedate the wiggly little ones. This involves IV lines and recovery time. The procedure was fine and quick but he slept and slept. When he finally woke up he drank the obligatory juice to prove he was alright and off we went. Here is where I demonstrated a severe lack of judgement. He was begging to go to "'Donalds". The poor child hadn't eaten a thing all day and had been confined to a bed even though he wanted to run and climb. We met Tommy and his friend (thoughtfully delivered by the early morning friend's sainted mother who had also taken my child to school this morning) at Burger King. I ordered a little food for the two of us and sat down with our group. Johnny jumped up out of his chair and immediately face-planted onto the hard tile floor. It didn't get better. All he wanted to do was play in the climbing structure but he just couldn't get his feet to obey. I helped him through once and it was awful. He couldn't keep his balance at all. After about 10 minutes I was finished. I took him home, his lunch untouched. Tommy went home with his friend. His mother kept him for the rest of the afternoon because she wanted to give me a break. I hope karma rains down good things on her for weeks to come. I put Johnny to bed and he was asleep before I left the room. I dozed for an hour or so. When Tommy's piano teacher came later in the afternoon (after he had been thoughtfully delivered to my front door) she brought us dinner. Just to be nice, not because she was aware that anything different had taken place today. Her son has a surgery in the morning and she brought us dinner. How did I get so lucky? My life is filled with people who are willing , able and even happy to help. People who texted to check on him and more who would have been more than willing had I asked. We have no official family here in Kansas, but that's only on paper.

He just woke up, he feels much better. So do I.


Thanks, everyone.

i don't think it's working

This one is trouble.

Unnaturally adorable trouble.

I love two. I have always loved two. They are so cute at two. Boy, does this one have two down. I can barely discipline him at all. Today after an exciting incident in the bathroom involving lots of water and not a few bubbles (given away by the peals of delighted laughter drifting through the house) I walked him to "time-out". He trotted along pleasantly and and sat there kicking his feet cheerfully. When I went to walk away he pulled me back in order to plant a kiss on my nose.

When he was sent downstairs at bedtime to find his blankie he instead moved three different kitchen chairs to the counter and managed to open every cupboard and drawer in the kitchen, also both fridge doors (kitchen and garage) were wide open. Apparently he was looking for something. He was down there for all of 90 seconds. It was like that scene in The Sixth Sense when the Mom turns away and when she turns back all the cabinet doors and drawers are open and it's all creepy. When I ordered him upstairs in a rather stern voice (not yelling or anything exciting) he collapsed to the floor in a sobbing mess of despair at my disapproval. Sigh. He had to be carried upstairs because he was simply too sad to walk.

But lately it's his joyful, full-bellied laugh that is coloring our world. He loves to get a reaction, any reaction. I don't even have to work at it. I am the funniest thing he has ever seen and once he starts giggling, I'm gone. Tonight the two of them were telling each other jokes in the bathtub and we could hear them throughout the house. The jokes make no sense at all but often include the word toilet or underwear which are both apparently hilarious. They couldn't stop. And I was so glad to hear it.

He does not do anything like the books say, or like his brother, or even like himself yesterday. There is no predicting this child and frankly, I am completely charmed by his antics. At two, he has me under his power. He is fooled by none of my tricks and cowed by few of my consequences. The scales are tipped the wrong way in this relationship. I think I should be more nervous than I am.

'cause there's just too much to tell

Make a Smilebox slideshow

nature versus nurture in real life

I am typing this on a brand new, shiny keyboard, direct from the factory. This is the third keyboard that has lived on this particular laptop. It's almost three years old. This is why I bought a new one.

 Had I been blogging 2 and a half years ago this is where I would put the link to the post about the time that Tommy did this to my new laptop. This time it was Johnny.  What ever extra naughty thing Tommy did 3 years ago, that no one has mentioned in years, that the perpetrator doesn't even remember, Johnny then repeats in his turn. Aack! How is he figuring things out? If one of you is informing him, there will be words. How is this sort of behavior genetic?  How, I ask you? I mean, it happens all the time. At any rate, now you know why my last several posts have been lackluster, it takes forever to blog with half a keyboard. Perhaps it was a ploy for my attention? Which brings me to my next "better":

#2-Spend less time playing around on the computer and more time playing around in real life (this will not affect my blogging, don't you worry)

two-for

I didn't get to run today. I was going to go right after lunch but Johnny came upstairs crying about noon and promptly spiked a fever. From that moment to this he has kept nothing down. Nothing. I spent the rest of the day giving him pedialyte a teaspoon at a time and then changing his clothes after he threw it back up. He  spent the day barely moving. I sat in the rocking chair and just held him for most of the day. Once again, I am afraid to go to bed. Afraid the fever will spike, afraid he is too dehydrated, afraid I will miss something important. That he will need me and I'll be asleep. Apparently, I am not destined for sleep this week. On the bright side Tommy only had three breathing treatments today. Tomorrow has to be better, right? Please, be better.

looking for a sale on strawberry jam

I make homemade rolls. It's how I prove I am a good mommy. Mostly to myself. They're not really all that hard and everyone is very impressed when you conveniently mention that they are made from scratch. The boys adore them, especially Johnny, who would subsist on them alone if such a thing were allowed. Last night I pulled a bag of these family favorites out of the freezer to go with our homemade chicken noodle soup (I know, rock star, right?). Tommy must have jam on his rolls. Must. He has also taken to insisting on doing  things for himself these days. Whatever, more power to him. I handed him the jar and a spoon. Moments later I glanced over at him at dinner and saw this:

If you are not sure what is in the jar, here's a close-up.

I pondered how I felt about this, I mean, it was sugar-free and there had to be some fruit in there somewhere. Besides it was now ruined for anyone else to eat. I settled with a mild lecture on germs and eating directly out of jars and left it at that. After a few minutes I sent him up to take a bath and started doing dishes while Johnny finished eating. I returned from a trip to the dishwasher to find this;

I just let him finish the jar because he doesn't listen to my lectures anyway.