manifesto

Dear winter,

You struck a harsh blow today. The loss of all my hydrangeas, daffodils and many of my newly flowering tulips was nothing but devastating. Don't, however, think that this is over. It's not. You may have won the battle, but you will not win the war. Even as I write this, the shelf in my garage is bursting with dahlias, hibiscus, roses and even strawberries. They go into the ground this week. Come June they will be glorious and there will be nothing you can do about it. I will not go quietly into the ice. Just so you know.

Respectfully, Me

oh, how easily we are distracted

So- jury duty. I was chosen to be in smaller pool from which they chose jurors for a murder trial, the details of which were horribly sad for all involved. However, the two days of questioning to choose said jurors, I was released, but the experience had some moments of interest. Here's my favorite. At some point they asked the entire panel if there was anything major in our lives at the current time that would keep us from properly concentrating. For example, a death or serious illness or perhaps having been laid off. One young guy in the front row raises his hand insistently. When the lawyer calls on him and asks what his distraction is he responds,"Paintball." Yup, you read that correctly, paintball. The lawyer tried really hard to get him to admit that given that this is a MURDER trial, he could put aside paintball for just a week or so an focus on the evidence presented. No dice. He swore up and down that there is no way that he could possibly concentrate even for a few days. He insists that he is having a difficult time even concentrating on the current proceeding. Right. The other lawyer then gets up and explains that often people say outrageous things in order to get kicked off the the case and that they wanted to know that you really didn't want to be here, that they would take that into consideration, and isn't that really what was going on here? Nope, he sticks with his story, paintball. Obviously they sent him back to the jury pool downstairs soon thereafter. Maybe he got assigned to traffic court where his distraction wasn't so important. Here's hoping.

poor babies

Sigh.

tess don't tell

I have jury duty this week. I was supposed to have it last week, but I forgot, the whole week. I didn't remember until Friday. Needless to say the clerk was not pleased with me and insisted I show up this week, which I did with a smile. Morning, uneventful, case dismissed. Afternoon, made it to short list for murder trial. I am not allowed to talk about it (how very cloak and dagger) but when I am I have a great story about possibly the dumbest person I have ever met, or even seen. Anyhoo, I hope you are all tingling in anticipation and praying I will be released so you can hear said great story sooner. Kisses until I return.

doing the right thing for all the wrong reasons

Last Saturday I decided that cable was ridiculously expensive and that we don't have time to watch TV anyway. Completely spur of the moment. I was so focused on returning the cable boxes and whatnot on Monday morning that I forgot something else super important (more on that little episode soon). All boxes were returned and the extra TV in the bonus room went to live in the basement. Ty still has the ginormous one downstairs for when he needs to kill aliens and zombies with his brothers, and for watching movies with the peanuts on movie nights and sometimes rainy afternoons.. I totally dig being TV-free, but for all the wrong reasons. I do, of course, love that Tommy doesn't get to watch commercials any more. He has totally stopped bugging me to buy him a Snuggie. I love that when I do watch a show (on hulu for free) it only has one commercial the whole show. I love that my boys are back to using their imaginations a little more and vegging out a little less. I love the quiet house. Mostly though, I love how much money is NOT going out of my bank account every month to a company that has a monopoly.

justification

On Monday I started the phase 1 of the South Beach Diet. For the uninitiated that means I get to eat almost no carbs or fat or anything else good. I am only willing to do this because it totally works for me and I have gained almost ten pounds(!) since my stupid surgery and I can't stand it one second longer. This excess fat is going away and if I have to live on turkey bacon and celery to make that happen, so be it. My diet issues are not, however, the focus of today's post. Tonight I cheated on my new diet. Once I really commit, I hardly ever cheat, but tonight I don't even feel slightly guilty. I had an appointment with the famous Olga this evening and was trying to get the kids dinner on the table before I went so my mother-in-law, Diane wouldn't have to do much. Ty, of course, was working late and she sweetly volunteered to babysit so that I wouldn't have to reschedule. As I was cutting the oranges I sliced my thumb wide open. I went running out to the driveway to get a medical opinion from my doc friend Amanda before they pulled out (they were just leaving after a playdate). She opined that as long as I could get the bleeding stopped, I probably wouldn't need stitches. Super. Off I went to my appointment, and let me tell you, a bikini wax doesn't hurt near as much as usual when your thumb is throbbing and you are holding a paper towel to it tightly in order to avoid getting blood all over the place. Afterwards I rushed over to Ty's office to drop off his dinner, still holding the paper towel and headed home to make my own meal. It was totally impossible to cut my squash in half while keeping pressure on my still bleeding wound so I asked my lovely mother-in-law to help me out. Guess what happened, go ahead, guess. That's right, while cutting my squash she also sliced her hand wide open. It was obvious even to me, the layman, that her injury definitely needed stitches and since mine was still bleeding after 2 hours, I decided to go with her. The doc and nurses all thought we were hilarious and, honestly, so did we. I only needed one stitch to get the flow down to an ooze and she needed three. At any rate, on the way home I stopped and got a pita and a chocolate milkshake because, after all of that, I needed it.

you know what I mean...

Greetings from my friend Stephanie's son Scott.... he's still learning to spell.

m.y.o.b.

On Saturday we had our first soccer game. Tommy is finally warming up to the whole idea (after two complete seasons). One of his favorite little friends was experiencing the joy of pee-wee soccer for the first time. Just like every kid I have ever met in my whole life, his first game was a little rocky. Being the bright, upbeat person that I am, I spent the entire game reassuring them that he was doing a great job, that he would get the hang of it, etc. I could tell I was starting to get on the nerves of two of my favorite friends. Hell, I was even getting on my own nerves. But I could not shut-up. There were several voices inside my head screaming, "Shut-up, shut-up, shut-up!" Did I listen?Absolutely not. I kept babbling on and on and on... you get the idea.

Dear friends who were listening to me-

I will try really hard to mind my own business and not be totally obnoxious at future soccer games, I promise. Seriously, no more random over-the-top parenting encouragement from me, I swear. My lips are zipped.

Love, me

things i learned while having the carpets cleaned

Today the nice man came to clean the carpets. He did a great job. To all you chalkboard-loving girls out there, a word to the wise, colored chalk cannot be removed from carpet by any known means. This information would have been significantly more useful a year ago when I bought a big tub of colored chalk in order to encourage my children's creativity. The damage is minor , but obnoxious nonetheless. As I was trapped in the kitchen, I baked. My very favorite rolls for dinner and a new cookie recipe(discovered because I was out of brown sugar and carpet cleaning men are not babysitters). They are Martha Washington cookies, seriously, as in made by Martha-freaking-Washington. Am feeling quite historical and have decided that pink, cream cheese frosting does not, in any way, damage their authenticity. Promise to stop baking immediately so as to have any chance on the South Beach Diet when I begin on Sunday. Or possibly Monday.

too much to ask for

My hair is getting long. I take very good care of it. You know, fancy shampoos & conditioners. hoighty-toighty hair dresser, the works. It's delicate, tending towards dry and I color it all the time, it needs lots of pampering to remain healthy. The last time it was this long was my junior year of high school. Then it was over-bleached (at home no less), dry and straw-like. A product of cheap grocery store products and five dollar hair cuts, if at all. In high school, I never thought about my body, unlike most adolescents, I was pretty pleased with my shape. I of course wasted it by dressing like a boy in flannel shirts and baggy jeans but that's a different issue. In college I exercised more and was even happier with my body. My hair however was so damaged I had to cut it all off and start over. Luckily, I was adorable in a bob at eighteen. Now, I get compliments on my hair all the time, but I absolutely hate my body. I know, I know. I'm not fat, blah, blah, blah. It doesn't change anything in my obsessive little heart. I want to know why I can't seem to have good hair and feel great about my body at the same time. If I chopped off all my hair would the last ten pounds magically melt off as well? It's worth considering. In the mean time I think I'll try to develop a minor exercise obsession, my ponytail flying out behind.

lightning strikes

Last night we had our first really big storm of the season. You know the buckets of rain, lightning-filled sky, tornado warning kind of storm. Delightful. What is it about a really great storm that makes it so cathartic. I don't know, but I write about it all the time. (Sorry, everybody) I haven't been feeling all that bloggy lately, so I have much to report. I went to Tulsa for the weekend with my friends and left my boys overnight without any medical reason to do so. You know how when you stay in a hotel and there is a group of people across the hall who come in laughing and talking and obviously having a great time and you wonder what they have been up to? That was us, and it was delightful. Tommy had career day at school and since Jedi and ninja were not a choice, he went as a policeman, handcuffs and all. He promised not to write me (or Miss Julie) a ticket. My podiatrist finally gave me the go ahead to run again and I already feel better. I just can't seem to function properly without my runs- something about being alone and feeling my heart working. Ran 3 miles on Thursday, heaven. Today am blogging while sitting on the front porch, watching Ty pull the boys around in the wagon and inspecting my crocuses and the first daffodils of the season as they soak up the afternoon sun. (pictures above are actual flowers described and NOT random pics I stole off the internet). Am planting spring bulbs next week and still can't imagine why anyone would intentionally plant anything that doesn't flower. Definitely in the right place at the right time.