Tuesday, March 17, 2009

justification

On Monday I started the phase 1 of the South Beach Diet. For the uninitiated that means I get to eat almost no carbs or fat or anything else good. I am only willing to do this because it totally works for me and I have gained almost ten pounds(!) since my stupid surgery and I can't stand it one second longer. This excess fat is going away and if I have to live on turkey bacon and celery to make that happen, so be it. My diet issues are not, however, the focus of today's post. Tonight I cheated on my new diet. Once I really commit, I hardly ever cheat, but tonight I don't even feel slightly guilty. I had an appointment with the famous Olga this evening and was trying to get the kids dinner on the table before I went so my mother-in-law, Diane wouldn't have to do much. Ty, of course, was working late and she sweetly volunteered to babysit so that I wouldn't have to reschedule. As I was cutting the oranges I sliced my thumb wide open. I went running out to the driveway to get a medical opinion from my doc friend Amanda before they pulled out (they were just leaving after a playdate). She opined that as long as I could get the bleeding stopped, I probably wouldn't need stitches. Super. Off I went to my appointment, and let me tell you, a bikini wax doesn't hurt near as much as usual when your thumb is throbbing and you are holding a paper towel to it tightly in order to avoid getting blood all over the place. Afterwards I rushed over to Ty's office to drop off his dinner, still holding the paper towel and headed home to make my own meal. It was totally impossible to cut my squash in half while keeping pressure on my still bleeding wound so I asked my lovely mother-in-law to help me out. Guess what happened, go ahead, guess. That's right, while cutting my squash she also sliced her hand wide open. It was obvious even to me, the layman, that her injury definitely needed stitches and since mine was still bleeding after 2 hours, I decided to go with her. The doc and nurses all thought we were hilarious and, honestly, so did we. I only needed one stitch to get the flow down to an ooze and she needed three. At any rate, on the way home I stopped and got a pita and a chocolate milkshake because, after all of that, I needed it.

7 comments:

Linn said...

Are you kidding me? Okay, I really am sorry for both of you, but I am still laughing like crazy! That is quite the story for sure. And you deserved more than a pita and a chocolate milkshake. I'd call that some fabulous self-control actually. Hope you feel better soon!

Nate and Di said...

Sad, but really funny. Maybe the two of you should take a break from knives!:)

DeAnna said...

Of course it had to happen that way. Why wouldn't it? Life is so funny sometimes. I hope there aren't any more comedy of errors around the corner to derail your commitment. I'd say good luck, but you don't need it.

Sara said...

Goodness! No more knives at your house. Hope you all heal quickly.

Carrie said...

I... can't... stop... laughing... long... enough... to ... type... my ... response!

The Busby Family said...

That's pretty funny, things like that always happen when you are in a hurry. By the way, I added you to my blog, sorry about that.

Amber said...

So funny at the expense of your appendages. Hope everyone heals nicely.