must. get. motivated.

Last week I registered for the St. George Marathon. I find out next month if I make it in. Everyone feel free to hold your breath until then. Also, in December, I had toe surgery and due to my complete inability to run gained almost 15 lbs in the 3 and half months it took to recover (I know, gasp, right?!) At any rate, I now am allowed to run and am signing up for every race I can possibly find to get me out and running. Starting completely over is harder than I thought it would be, much harder. The other problem is my schedule. My sweet husband goes in to work at about 6 AM most days. This means that yours truly has to drag her delicate behind out of bed shortly before 5 AM(!) in order to be back in time. I don't think I can emphasize enough how much I despise 5 AM and all that is associated with it (dark, cold, sooooo sleepy). I remember from a time when I was having a little more success with this that I actually love when I can get into this routine. I get to run first thing and feel great all day and I have all sorts of time to be uber productive while the kiddies are still dozing. I have done this before. I know can do it, except that I don't seem to be able to. Instead I end up trying to squeeze in runs at all sort of odd and inconvenient times during the day and invariably missing one or two a week because I simply can't get my act together. This is completely unacceptable. I pledge here and now to cowboy up. I figure if you all know about my quest then perhaps me and my slacker attitude can get it together, if only to save face.

PS. One of my dearest friends just started a great blog about body and workout issues, probably out of frustration born simply from having me as a friend but we'll all pretend it's just general information. It's great so far and you can find it here.

lightning strikes

Last night we had our first really big storm of the season. You know the buckets of rain, lightning-filled sky, tornado warning kind of storm. Delightful. What is it about a really great storm that makes it so cathartic. I don't know, but I write about it all the time. (Sorry, everybody) I haven't been feeling all that bloggy lately, so I have much to report. I went to Tulsa for the weekend with my friends and left my boys overnight without any medical reason to do so. You know how when you stay in a hotel and there is a group of people across the hall who come in laughing and talking and obviously having a great time and you wonder what they have been up to? That was us, and it was delightful. Tommy had career day at school and since Jedi and ninja were not a choice, he went as a policeman, handcuffs and all. He promised not to write me (or Miss Julie) a ticket. My podiatrist finally gave me the go ahead to run again and I already feel better. I just can't seem to function properly without my runs- something about being alone and feeling my heart working. Ran 3 miles on Thursday, heaven. Today am blogging while sitting on the front porch, watching Ty pull the boys around in the wagon and inspecting my crocuses and the first daffodils of the season as they soak up the afternoon sun. (pictures above are actual flowers described and NOT random pics I stole off the internet). Am planting spring bulbs next week and still can't imagine why anyone would intentionally plant anything that doesn't flower. Definitely in the right place at the right time.

26.2

I finished. I wasn't very fast. I was not last. My hip and knee gave me some problems, especially at the end but hopefully my physical therapist can help me avoid that next time. It was really hard, harder than I thought, but I still did it. And if you had asked me yesterday I would have said differently, but today I am already planning for the next one. I read somewhere that only 1 in 100,000 people will complete a marathon in their lifetime. Don't tell anyone, but I'm feeling pretty proud of my self.

so you won't be fooled

In case anyone tries to tell you otherwise, when you are running, 20 miles is a really long way. Also, ice baths are highly unpleasant.

rambling race report

I think you should all know how much I adore you. I think about you all the time. Especially during long runs when I have lots of time. I plan out my posts to you and think of all the important things I want to tell you. Often several miles go by that I don't even notice because I am so wrapped up in thinking about you. I had no idea how much I value you until yesterday. Yesterday I ran my first half-marathon race. I was really nervous. So nervous that I couldn't distract myself-even by thinking of you. The night before I should have gone to sleep early so that I would be fresh and well-rested. Instead I spent the evening lying in bed with butterflies playing rugby in my stomach. In the morning I barely made it to the start in time because I was almost there when I realized that I had forgotten my number and had to run home and get it. I had initially signed up for the half in hopes that is would feel relatively easy compared to my longer training runs and would give me confidence for the marathon. Wrong. It was harder to run long distance under race conditions. It's really intimidating to have my time count, it's harder to maintain my own pace when I am surrounded by other runners when I'm not used even to a partner and my hip is still giving me fits. It took me 2:25. I am not thrilled with this time which is hilarious because it's not like I've ever done this before. It's just that I was hoping to run the marathon in about 4 1/2 hours and at that pace I am going to be a bit longer than that. I did notice later in the day that I was running a fever, maybe that slowed me down? Ty tried to bring the kids down to meet me at the finish line. Unfortunately he somehow mixed up the address and instead spent an hour and a half driving around looking for it, thus no photos. It was a lovely run regardless, we ran along the Arkansas (here pronounced are-Kansas instead of like the state, no one knows why) and the weather was perfect. I was feeling drained at the end but recovered quickly after the finish so obviously wasn't as close to dying as I thought. It's finished and the marathon is feeling really soon, in response I am feeling really panicky-it'll be fine, right?

faker

Dear friends,
When you see me in the next few days and you (being supportive) ask me about my long run this weekend (19 miles!) and I nonchalantly reply that it was great, do not believe me. This is hard, really hard. Every long run gets a little worse and a little better. It's two steps forward and one step back. For example, this evening's run. First of all I was feeling a little hormonal today and and kept putting off the inevitable so I didn't even get started until about 6:30 pm. For the first eight miles or so that makes for a lovely run, especially tonight. I watched the sun set through the storm clouds and ran under the evening rainbow, nice, right? The problem is, then it gets dark. I don't mind running in the dark with the exception of three things, first the City of Wichita is not so great with sidewalks. There are four miles spread out along my long run route during which I must run in the road. There is ,of course, no shoulder. Three of the four miles are later in the run and thus tonight, in the dark. Scary. Second, the City of Wichita does not maintain the sidewalks they have which would not be such a big deal if it weren't for the third thing. The complete lack of streetlights in any useful place. These things mean that when I am a slug and put my run off until it is dark I spend a lot of time trying not to get hit by cars or fall into holes. This evening during mile 13 I completely tripped over an uneven sidewalk I could not see on this moonless evening and fell all the way down. I have awesome scrapes all over to prove it. Next- can anyone tell me why energy bars have to be so flipping hard to chew that they actually cause cramps in my jaw, The one I ate during mile 14 caused more pain in my jaw than the cramps in my calves at the end of the run. I don't need anymore pain than I am already causing myself, thank you very much. By the time I get to mile 16 it takes all I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other in the prescribed rhythm. There is, however, not much that feels better than 1/4 mile I walk after I finish all 19 miles so that my poor muscles don't seize up and refuse to ever work again. Just don't let me fool you, this is one of the hardest things I have ever done and I am not at all confident that I can actually do it. My only chance is to fake it until I make it, so thanks for playing along.

it makes me smile

Yesterday I bought new shoes. I hear you all saying, "Big deal, we all know you have a bit of a shoe problem." These, however were not just any shoes, these were new running shoes. I have officially worn out my first pair of running shoes. I put 440 miles on them before they gave up the ghost. I feel really good about that. I took much of last week off from running so when I finally went again on Tuesday it had been several days. People who drove by me that evening must have thought that I was an escaped mental patient because I could not wipe the huge grin off my face for the entire six miles, and this was with a little knee and hip pain because my shoes were in their final throws. I really love running. I deeply regret that I did not give it a real shot earlier in my life because it makes me super happy. Years ago I saw a woman wearing a t-shirt that said,"I love to run, it makes me smile, I think I'll go another mile." I remember it because at the time it seemed absolutely preposterous to me. I totally get it now, I wonder if I can find that shirt on ebay? (note- the above photo is representative of the state my shoes are in, not my actual shoes)

braggart

This morning I ran 16 miles. I did not cheat and I did not drop dead along the way or even after finishing. I even got my first blisters. I'm feeling pretty awesome! I might actually be able to do this...

so hot

Today I ran 10 miles. I hear all you distance runners saying, "Pshaw, you're not even half way yet!" This is true. But I ran that 10 miles in Wichita, Kansas, in August. It is approximately 100 degrees with about 70% humidity. Melt. I bought a water belt yesterday and it's a good thing because there is no way I would have made it. As it was I did not have enough water. I usually run about a 9 minute mile. Today I was between 12 and 13. This is not good. I finally got home dehydrated and discouraged. I called my running buddy Katherine (who is also a doctor and in my eyes, credible). She reassured me that it was not me, it was the heat. She says that running in this heat it was more like running 15 miles. I don't know if it's true but I adore her for telling me so. I am holding on to this because it makes me feel a lot better.

off to the races

Today my pathology report came back. All clear. Woo-hoo! In celebration of being healthy I have decided to run the Wichita Marathon in October. It's relatively soon and I will have to train hard. That's why I am writing to tell all of you about my plan. They say that if you write a goal down you are more likely to accomplish it. They also say telling your friends increases your chances of success. This way I am killing two birds with one stone. So, I need all of you to insist that I be tough and not slack off. I am really excited and really nervous but I think if I can get this first one out of the way then the next won't be so intimidating. Right now my legs are quivering just thinking about it.

10Kx2

For those of you getting sick of reading about running you had best stop reading now. For everyone else, today I ran my second 10K run. It was the Bridal Veil Falls Run up Provo Canyon. There were hills. There are no hills on which to practice in Kansas. I was very nervous. There is also that whole altitude thing. Again, very nervous. I was surprised. It was great. I shaved three minutes off my time ( I am still slow, but less so) and it felt wonderful. The scenery was absolutely breathetaking and I think my body is starting to get the hang of this. My knees and achilles are no longer sore and after a run I feel fantastic. It was wonderful to run along that beautiful trail and to feel so great. I know this is getting a little repetitive but I am so thrilled to have found something new that I love and makes me feel so good. So, enjoy the photo and relax in the knowledge that I don't have any races scheduled for a while so you all get a little break.

so I went for a run...she said offhandedly

I did it! I ran my first 10K today. Wichita has a big street festival every year and they kick it off with a 10K race in which I participated. I, obviously, did not win. My time was 1:08- this is not very fast but it was faster than lots of other people who ran the race. I got a t-shirt and even a medal. It felt great and I continued to feel great all day. I am training for several other races and unfortunately for you good folk you will probably have to hear about all of them, for a while at least. I am almost embarrassed about how much I am loving this whole running thing. For once, I am thrilled to have been wrong.

shoes can fix anything

I know I am getting a bit gushy lately and today will not be any better, sorry, I'll work on it. So , everyone knows that about four weeks ago I decided to take up running- lots of naysaying and whatnot on my part. I began, as planned, but surprisingly, I loved it. I did get a "runners' high" and I was completely addicted. After my first 4-mile run I found that my toes were numb. This was, of course, unacceptable. I decided to switch from my old, but fancy running shoes to my cheap cross trainers for a few days until I could get to the running store to get properly fitted shoes. Big mistake. After my next run my knees were quite sore but I was assured by all my runner friends that it was normal and would go away shortly. I went running again the next day. It hurt a lot. Being the tough runner athlete-type that I now considered myself to be I ran through it, most of the way. I was forced to walk the last 1/4 mile because I was limping to badly to maintain any sort of pace or rhythm. I spent the next two weeks walking like an 80-year-old woman with severs arthritis. Running was definitely out, even walking up the stairs was a feat. My three story house was not kept up to it's usual level, I simply couldn't take all the stairs. My friend Dr. Amanda looked the injury and prescribed proper medication and physical therapy. I went to running store where they took one look at me and knew what I had done wrong. They sent me home with new fancy running shoes with the promise that it would get better. By the beginning of the second week I was starting to wonder if I would ever walk normally again , let alone run. (I know, impatient, over-dramatic) Two weeks to the day after my fateful "run through the pain" day, I tried again. My new shoes are magic and my knees actually felt better after my run than they did before. I have run almost every day since and I still love it. I am so grateful for a body that does what I ask of it almost all of the time, that heals quickly and adjusts to my randomness, that is strong enough to tote my kids around and to do things that are hard, just because I want to challenge myself. I am grateful to walk, and especially to run.

Run, Lola, Run.

I want to be a runner. People are always talking about how much they love running. They run races every weekend. They have t-shirts from all their races. They casually mention how they went "for a run" in conversations. They have really great bodies, no fat anywhere. It's all very attractive. I firmly believe that running is the thing that will finally help me get rid of the last of my baby weight. There is only one problem. I really hate running. I don't like to be uncomfortable and I am just a little lazy. For some reason these things are not issues in the gym. I can do the elliptical for hours. I can kickbox all day. Power yoga is my favorite thing ever. When I try to go for a run, I get all whiny. I have tried to start running several times but I can never get past the first few weeks. This time is going to be different. I have retrieved the fancy running shoes that I bought the last time I decided to be a runner and this time I am going to wear them out. I am not allowed to give up due to dislike until at least Thanksgiving. If I don't like it by then, there is nothing that can be done for me. I am going to run races and get t-shirts and casually mention my morning run. So, all you runners out there, tell me why I am going to love it and how it's going to change my life, just to get me through that first few weeks.