Friday, December 18, 2009

balance is tricky

Yesterday one of my dear ones gave me a well-deserved lecture. It was all about how I had too many balls in the air and didn't say no nearly often enough and that was why I run around with chipped fingernail polish and a frantic look in my eyes.  She was right, of course, but how do I really decide? I mean, it should be easy right? What's most important? I just don't want to give up some of the things that are not so important because, despite recent evidence to the contrary, they make me happy.

I started this post several days ago and since then I have made significant progress. Last night I went to bed and left an unfinished project on my sewing machine. That is a big step for me. Sure, I have had projects that took longer than a day before but I have never, ever gone to bed without reaching whatever point I had been planning to reach. This may have something to do with my sleep issues. But I did it and nothing really bad happened. I might be a little late with my sister's gift but I don't think she cares all that much. Only I do. Next year I have big plans to avoid all this over-the edge angst at the end of the year. Wait and see, I'll be amazing. In the meantime maybe I can find peace with my own lowered expectations.


Adri said...

Way to go, Angie! Take it from this reformed (mostly) perfectionist.... lowered expectations= more satisfaction!

Nice pic, too. Even the great ones know how to let go, sometimes.

Amy said...

Any advice from the recovering "perfectionists?" I'm thinking it is about time for me to "higher the bar!"

Dena said...

My dear daughter,

You are a beautiful wonder to me. I marvel as you echo many of my greatest concerns and trials of yesterday and today.

I have heard it said a lot lately that distraction is Satan's currant tool against us.
I believe it.
Balance will always be a challenge...just when you get the hang of juggling 3 balls, 1,2,3 or more are thrown in while 1,2,3 or more are taken away. It is always changing, sometimes by the minute; Surely you have noticed.

Occasionally when I am doing regular gospel study, pondering, and praying for specific direction, I actually have peace & confirmation that I am doing the exact right thing, at the right time.

It is curious that using precious time wisely is as difficult when it seems like you have no time, as it is when you seem to have more than enough time.
Love, Mom