hurry up and wait

I have this picture saved on my phone. I look at it multiple times a day. Anytime my tummy gets that icky, 'this is all too much' feeling, I look at it. If all goes as planned (knocking on wood), in a little over three weeks my boys and I will move into this house just outside of Memphis and my husband will too. We will all live together in the same house (let alone the same city, state, etc.) It's not the perfect plan I had hoped for. We still own a house in Kansas, so that will be two houses, which is really more than I need but that can't possibly last forever (can it?!) and all this time in pieces of a family has started to feel like forever. So. We are moving on, without the closure I was hoping for, but with an eye towards pushing forwards anyway, with just a few strings attached. I have never actually been to this house. My dearest picked it out for me. He chose it for its giant front lawn, perfect for little boys who always want to run, for the big windows his light-craving wife requires, for all the space on the front porch for rocking chairs to watch the lightning bugs. Things are decided and it's time to go, except it's not. The mortgage is all arranged and the movers scheduled, the schools have been alerted and the paperwork is signed. My heart is aching as we start saying our goodbyes. And we are counting the days and planning a lovely spring.