I used to be so patient. So patient. At least I thought so. I think that was because Tommy was a logical, desperately obedient child. The terrible twos didn't happen at my house. I secretly believed that somehow I had done something right, and this was my parenting reward. I hardly ever have to send Tommy to time-out because just counting backwards puts him into a panicky state of acquiescence. While my little ones look as though they were cut from the same cookie cutter, apparently the ingredients were completely different. Johnny has been two for exactly one week. How does he even know he's two? Sure we ate cake and gave him presents but he does not have a clear enough understanding of social mores to interpret anything from that. He probably just thought it was an extra great day. Yet since that day he has been a perfect demonstration of the classic case of terrible two's. Yesterday we had five, count 'em five temper tantrums. The poor child isn't really talking yet but boy does he know what he wants and obviously my guessing skills are not up to par. Know what else? He thinks it's funny to be naughty. Hysterically funny. If you ask him to go someplace specific, he runs in the other direction and hides. Luckily, of course, laughing the entire way. He sneaks out of the house and runs away to the neighbors. He empties the refrigerate at two in the morning because we don't feed him enough during the day. He dumps his drawers and and make snow angels in the piles of diapers he pulls out of the cabinets. He is positive that his little friend Zack (age 1) wishes to be pushed and tackled often and repeatedly. He makes a point of never returning home with both shoes. While he does these things he grins and giggles in a terribly charming manner and sits patiently in time-out planning his next infraction. Today I snapped at him, several times. He is so adorable, but so naughty! I want to be firm and patient but this kid is driving me to distraction. I am starting to wonder if, perhaps, this is only the beginning with this little dear and I just don't think I'm up for it. They don't give out anti-depressants in that big of a dose. They're totally stingy like that.
4 years ago