Yesterday when I went to church, I looked great. I love dressing up for church (or anything else). I love dresses and skirts and heels. I love how I feel in them and I used to love how I looked in them. I haven't felt like I looked really good in a long time. 18 months to be exact (9 months of prenancy+9 months post pregnancy). I finally felt like myself. People ask me what it is about pregnancy that makes me despise it so, it's not feeling like me. It's almost like being out of your own body, you don't look or feel like yourself and this other little person has a very legitimate claim on your personal space. Please don't get me wrong, I am so grateful to be able to get pregnant and have healthy and relatively uneventful pregnancies and deliveries. I just miss being selfish about my space. I miss exercising until I'm sick just because I want to, I miss eating or not eating without thinking about how it affects a little one and I miss feeling good about how I look in a great pencil skirt or skinny jeans. I miss wearing stilettos for no good reason. I have not yet quite reached my goal but I am close enough that I am starting to feel like a person again. A person who is a mom, but maybe, if she didn't have her kids with her, you wouldn't know for sure.
4 years ago