Wednesday, March 3, 2010

in our own safe little world

So, someone at school told my 5-year-old about the trainer that died at SeaWorld. I hadn't mentioned it. I don't like to tell him sad things. He overheard the people on NPR talking about the earthquake in Haiti and the devastation that followed. I wanted to change the station. I didn't because he asked me not to. He wanted to know

He wants to know about the things going in the world, he feels badly for those involved and he handles it so much better than I would expect. He wants to help. He wants to understand. It's me. I don't want him to know about death and sadness, not yet. He's seems so little and there is so much time for that later. But all of the sudden he really isn't all that little. He asks insightful questions about important things and he notices connections in the world around him. More and more his thinking is abstract and complicated. He wants to solve big problems. He doesn't even look like a little child anymore. All the baby fat is gone. He's a tall, skinny, string bean of a boy. Big -kid school is looming and I am mourning the passing of his baby/toddlerhood just a little bit. He and I were both pretty good at it. While I firmly believe he will be dazzling at what comes next, I am not so confident in my own abilities. Good grief, I just barely figured this out, kind of.

In the fall I will send him off to school for the whole day.  His friends will no longer be pre-approved and he will have to do hard things all by himself. With other people watching and judging. He will have to form his own opinions and learn to stand up for himself, without back-up. That's a lot of pressure on a 6-year-old.
For a while I think I will keep editing the sadness when I can, he has enough to be getting on with just now.


Emz said...

excellent post. loved it. I'm a firm believer in the "editing" process.

Adri said...

I'm a sadness editor, too. Chad sat down to dinner the other night and told the kids about the SeaWorld trainer, too, as if that would be good around the table conversation! Sheesh!

3StinkyBoysAndMe said...

My big boy is 3. I can't believe so much will change for him in the next two years. It goes too fast. Sigh.

Linn said...

Editor of sadness here also.

Beautiful post friend!

Carrie said...

This is a beautiful blog, Ang!

Dena said...

Oh, Angie, are you really comming? I wrote on Nate & Di's blog that I feel Shaking with excitement, like Tommy and Johnny, when thay went to Disneyworld. Please be so careful. I promise to give you a break. You can sleep in when you get here. I will play with the boys, and feed them fun stuff for breakfast.

Love, Mom