Wednesday, November 18, 2009

for health and strength- thankful

My white blood cell count has been low for a while. They are doing lots of blood tests to find out why. For a while I was worried but I'm not anymore. See, the Doc already confirmed that I do not have leukemia or any of the other terrible things I found on the very helpful Mayo clinic website. I feel a little icky lately but that's it.What ever is causing these strange test results is minor. I am healthy.

I run lots of miles every week with no ill affects, my legs are strong and flexible, my lungs able to bear the strain, craving the challenge. My eyes see near and far with no aid at all. I hear clearly and distinctly. My skin is clear and unmarred by anything more serious than a faint wrinkle or freckle. I have had the amazing experience of both carrying and bearing two children with no incident. Every part of my body works perfectly and I usually take it for granted. I get all out of joint when I get a sinus infection or my glands are a little swollen. What a miracle that all these complex systems should work so well, that there should be no mistakes, no missing parts, no deficiencies. No terrible accident or illness has robbed me of any of these things. How did I get so lucky, so blessed? I am even more humbled when I see that same perfection in my little ones, terrified at the same time. I don't deserve it any more than anyone else does. Anymore than anyone deserves infertility, diseases, both mild and unimaginably awful, terrible accidents or small mistakes in a genetic code that change everything. Perhaps if I don't appreciate it, don't really make the most of it, it will taken away. Maybe someday something will happen that will change everything no matter what I do today. 

I don't want to waste it, don't want to miss out on it while I have the chance to really experience it all, just in case.


Linn said...

I'm sorry they still have not found out what is going on--I hope they do soon. But I'm so glad they have ruled out any big stuff. Thinking of you...

Dena said...

Bodies are amazing. I just love mine.

Love, Mom