Wednesday, September 28, 2011

achy-breaky

It's really only been five days. Not long at all. It feels like a jillion years. And a million miles. We have been apart before. It's not like he didn't travel for work of whatever. I was fine. I missed him, but time passed quickly and he came home. He's not coming home this time. I don't know how long he will be away, which is, I think, the very worst part. I know lots and lots of people have it worse, spouses that are gone forever or are in war zones. I feel guilty about my heartache. But it does ache. So I wander around my life listening to angsty music, wearing giant sunglasses to hide my eyes. I am busy, busy, busy hoping I will have less time to think, to miss what is gone, to worry. Turns out I am an excellent multi-tasker. I don't know how to make this better, how to be stronger. I see women do this all the time with grace and patience. I can't seem to. I don't want to be good at this.

6 comments:

Carrie said...

You don't have to be good at this. It's only temporary. Besides, you have all of us to help make the time fly!!!

Andrea said...

So Sorry Ang. That stinks. I hope it works out for you all--and fast!

Reluctant Nomad said...

I think 'grace' and 'patience' REALLY MEAN 'surviving' and 'hoping'. Mixed with desperation and heartache for good measure. Ah shucks, you two are cute. But you CAN do this. You CAN. Toughest girl I know.

Malea said...

Poopy pants. I hate that you are without your lover boy. You make such a great team. I don't think being good at this is a good idea either. I will harness all of my sell your house ju ju and send it your way. Hugs and blessings to you. Love yer guts!

Linn said...

Don't be good at it. I'm so sorry you have to go through it and will be praying hard your house sells QUICKLY. (I hate being away from Jacob. Hate it, hate it, hate it. Strong enough for you?) You are fabulous and I think if you looked behind that grace and patience that others appear to having during similar situations, their hearts are breaking. Love you Angie.

3StinkyBoysAndMe said...

Awww... I always miss my honey too when he's away. Boo. I'll be thinking of you...
xo
Tasha